The Art Of Letting Go

Letting go is not an art. There is nothing artistic about it. It hurts, and is way to hard to do. No one is taught how to let go. We aren't born with the ability to let go of someone or something. Letting go hurts like hell, and no one wants to do it. You may say it's easy. That you are happy to let go of that, but if you are being honest, it wasn't easy. You weren't happy about it and you wish you didn't have to. The hardest thing to let go of is a person. As much as you like or dislike it, people are needed in your life. You NEED them.
Having people in my life as been one of the best gifts from God. God has greatly blessed me with a fantastic family. 10 loving and empowering siblings. Great friends and of course him self. But I hate letting go of people. Someone can even hurt me and I can't let go of them. God has richly blessed me but I never want to let go of those blessings. I believe that some blessings can run out. God can put some one in your life, but their time there can run out. The hardest thing is realizing that.
I put up walls because I'm afraid of letting people in. Not because I don't like people but because I don't want to lose them. I would rather not have them at all, then loose them, I love people...a lot. I'll be friends with some one but I won't let them really know me.
I met this person, A person I never intend to come into my life. They were just there. They weren't even important to me. I never was going to let them in, but God had other plans. Over the course of a year they became more important then my own life. At times, I wished they cared the same for me but I refused to get hurt.I couldn't love them, I couldn't. But I did. I did love them. I loved them a lot.I finally brought up the nerve to say I loved them. and they turned me to the wall.They loved me too but they didn't love me like I loved them. I swallowed it hard and put my head down. I tried to just get past it, but I couldn't. I refused to cry. They didn't deserve my tears. But they did. I couldn't get past it an I couldn't let go. I talked to them again and again, trying to give them every reason to love me the way I loved them. But they didn't, and they never would. They even said they never would. I didn't believe them and kept trying. Over and over again they would tell me the truth and I would make it a lie. I wasn't going to let my self get hurt right? But I did. I got hurt. I got hurt a lot! Night after night,I would finish talking to them, and cry.I knew it wasn't their fault they didn't love me that way. I knew that and when they apologized, I took the blame. I put my self in the situation. They were in tilted to their own feelings and I tried to respect that.
But after today, this has to end... I hate the Mary-go-around we ride. Time after time; Night after night; Tear after tear; Scream in the night after scream in the night. This, is my art of letting go. I still deeply care for them but I can't ride the ride anymore. I love them the same, and will treat them the same as before. But I let go. it hurts, and tears well every time I think of it, but I let go. I sill hope one day they will see differently. I mean never say never right?
But here's to you my friend. Thank you for being in my life, and loving me like a friend, even when I was far from lovable. I release you....